I never knew that being a mother would cause me to be so emotional and so... well, sappy. There are moments where, one of my sons will be babbling away in that sweet baby talk (well, my oldest is two so now there are recognizable words in there) that just makes you giggle from deep inside, and I just grab them up and kiss them. They of course either yield to the moment and laugh or squeal in delight, or cry "no mommy!" and squirm out of my grasp, because I have interrupted an important play moment. Gone are the moments where I could just snuffle into their sweet skin and blissfully forget the world for a few seconds without them trying to wriggle away. *sigh*
I worry all the time that I am not doing enough for them. At one of my son's well baby check-ups, the health nurse asked me, "What are you trying to be? The perfect mom?" and I told her yes. She told me to not be so worried about it and relax, that I was doing fine. Easy for her to say!
So, Russell is 27 mos and Connor is 16 mos. Yep, 11 mos apart folks. Irish twins, my grandmother joked. Oh, and just so ya know, all the stories about redheads being extra feisty, mischievous and head strong? True, every blasted one of em! Sometimes its funny and sometimes I want to hang a "Free To Good Home" sign around his neck and set him out on the sidewalk. Oh, but he is a cuddler and likes to stroke my hair and skin as he falls asleep in my arms. When I get home from work he runs to me and proceeds to tell me all about his day in baby babble.
Russell is my busy little bee. I often find him using his plastic tools on various furniture around the house. If he is out of my sight for a few moments and call to him, "What are you doing?" he hollers back, "I'm working back here momma!" Sometimes I sneak a peek and find him talking to himself in a very important tone about fixing things and, ".. hammerin' hammerin'..." or pretending to be a loader and, "... loadin' the truck!". He likes to help his "Gampa" work in the garage and figures out, frighteningly fast, how to turn on various machines (closely watched and protected of course).
My heart breaks to think of a day when they will be too cool for kisses and hugs. Although, I look forward to seeing what good men I know they will be. How do I know? Russell is such a good brother, always has been. From the time we brought Connor home, he made sure Connor always had his nuk (pacifier) and would pat him on the head lovingly. Now he looks out for him, and when he gets into trouble, he says in a stern voice, "Connor! No! Come here." and leads him to me for reprimand (pretty hard with this adorable scene playing out before me). Connor, he likes to snuggle with his brother. He pats him lovingly and gives him kisses. Everything big brother does, he does too (as well as he can muster) and is quickly on his heels where ever he goes. Yes, I love my boys and they will be wonderful men, as they are such wonderful boys now.