Hope Springs Eternal

So, I got a call from my doctor telling me that my low milk supply has largely been due to "dangerously low" thyroid which has affected my prolactin levels (click on highlighted areas for further explanation). She was surprised I was able to pump any milk at all. So, our plan of attack, is taking synthroid to normalize my thyroid and continue taking all the galactagogues I have been taking. I also have to pump at least once every four hours, going no longer than four between pumping. Specifically, pumping at 2am since that is apparently an optimal time for the nutrients and quantity. All that I pump is added to any formula I give which is about 50/50.

What an exhausting schedule. Especially since I have two older boys (5&6yrs old) as well as a household to try to keep up with. To top it all off, I have family coming for a visit. If it were just my parents, I think it would be fine, but some extended family are coming too, which has me just a little stressed for keeping everyone entertained, while sticking to my schedule. I think I am just worrying needlessly, but since having my thyroid diagnosed (postpartum hypothyroidism) I realized that my extreme exhaustion hasn't just been me and I don't know if I will be able to keep up. I try not to drive unless I am certain I am fully awake. I drove to the next town (15min away) to pick up a hospital grade pump and almost fell asleep driving twice. I was so upset and jittery from nerves once I got home. Now, I walk as much as possible and avoid driving unless I feel totally up to it. Thank goodness it's summertime!

It's so unfair that breastfeeding has to be so difficult. I thought that this time I would finally have it down and be able to really offer the full benefit to my baby. The first two were a struggle and this was to be a redeeming moment for me. Oh well. Letting go of the guilt and disappointment is the hardest. To persevere against all odds is truly difficult. However, I have friends and family near and far who have been so amazing with words of encouragement and cheering me on. I am truly blessed with the friendships I have made. I hold fast to the sense that, with everything I have been doing to maintain what I have, when my thyroid rights itself, suddenly everything will click. So, I am hoping that the little bit of documentation of the struggles I have gone through, will be found by other moms who are struggling with lactation/nursing issues and find answers, encouragement and tips to keep going.

The Heartache of Nursing

I know all the benefits. I have all the facts. I love the act itself for all it's loving closeness. I mourn that it has never been easy.

With my first son, it was a horrible experience. He was extremely collicky, which we later found out was a treatable reflux condition (if we had decent doctors to diagnose it at the time!). I was only able to nurse him for 5mos. but it was 5mos of torture. My second I was able to almost reclaim nursing, but had such a bad taste in my mouth from the struggle and emotional distress I was in (loooong story!) at the time, I didn't try to maintain it and only nursed for 7mos.

Now, I am nursing again and having a new set of issues to deal with. We were able to get medicine for Lachlan for reflux, but he has a slight aversion to the breast now, because of the pain association. So, I am trying to woo him back, struggling to maintain my supply. He will nurse from one side now, not the other. I hate having to do it, but I am supplementing. I pump like crazy all the time, get a few ounces and add it to a small amount of formula to give by bottle (arg!). This has been a touch and go issue for me, because I don't want him to grow dependent on or expect a bottle. So, I am researching everything on increasing my supply and hoping to find someone who will let me borrow their hospital grade pump (cannot afford to buy or rent at this time). This research has led me to all kinds of wonderful resources on herbs, foods and practices that will bring my supply rapidly upward. I wanted to share them with you so if anyone needed the info, they could find it here.

To kick off the share session, I would like to present a recipe I played with and altered from an online lactation cookie recipe I found. It has essential components that are purported to be galactagogues. So, here it is:

Mama Mia Milk Cookies

Ingredients:

1/2 cup butter*

3/4 cup coconut oil

1/2 cup granulated sugar

1/2 cup firmly packed light brown sugar

4 tbsp water

2 tbsp flax seed meal (I used Bob's Red Mill)

2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
1 tsp almond
1/2 cup AP flour
1/2 cup buckwheat flour
1/4 cup almond meal flour
1/2 cup whole wheat flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
2-4 tbsp brewer's yeast (I used 4 tbsp)
8 capsules of fenugreek (vitamin capsules opened up, discard the capsule)**
3 cups rolled oats (not quick oats)
1 cup chocolate chips
1 cup craisins

* I realize now, that I could have completely omitted the butter all together, but wasn't sure of the outcome. Next time, I will.


** this was a last minute idea that was such a good one!

Instructions:
Preheat oven to 350F. Line cookie sheets with parchment paper.

In a small bowl, mix flax seed meal and water and let sit for 5 minutes. In a large bowl, sift the flours, baking soda, salt and brewer's yeast and set aside.

In a stand mixer, fitted with a flat beater, combine the butter and coconut oil, brown sugar and granulated sugar. Add eggs, mixing well after each one. Add flax seed meal and vanilla and almond, and fenugreek. Mix well. Slowly add flour mixture to the butter mixture. Stir in oats. Fold in chocolate chips and craisins.

Scoop rounded tablespoons onto prepared baking sheets. Bake for 12-15 minutes. Let sit on baking sheet for a few minutes before removing to wire racks to cool completely.

ENJOY!