Friday, April 19, 2013

After: My First Five Minute Friday Entry

It is time for the Five Minute Friday Flash Mob of writers. Every Thursday night until Midnight Eastern time a group of women gather, waiting for a prompt for the week. They never know what the  prompt will be, but thru Twitter they encourage and uplift each other and then they write!
Thank you for being here for my first Five Minute Friday!
Now, my words on:

I struggled for a long time with a feeling of never belonging and always feeling, outside. I was frustrated and alone and would lash out at people who loved me, and then feel sorrow and more alone.  I didn't realize that after a life altering event when you are a child, there can be such a wound, that it takes surrendering to Jesus to let it go. For decades, I carried it around like a heavy burden that I just couldn't let go of. Most of the time, I didn't notice that it hung around my neck and pulled me down. Not until something triggered a repressed memory and I would feel a flash of anger and pain. Like a wounded animal, I would blindly attack anyone close to me.

Then, I found myself surrounded by people who continually lifted me up. I would unload all the ugliness I had held inside and they would pray for me, the most loving words. I finally had the courage to face that I had been molested as a child. That this pain had fueled a rage in me that kept the hurt from healing. I wept, and took my sorrow, guilt and shame to Jesus, and then, I felt lightness.

Now, I fight for others to find this freedom. I seek out the lost and wounded and tell them, there is a way to find peace. I feel a thrill, an exhilaration of hope when I tell them, my burden is gone! When I see their eyes begin to have a distant twinkle of hope, I know they are beginning their journey to freedom. I thank the Lord for guiding me to women who prayed fervently for me when I was in my darkest place. I praise God for His healing and grace and look forward to the day, after the weariness of this world, when there will be no more sorrow or pain.  


Before I go, the first FMF post I read, was from Gracie Biskie and her lovely poem After. 

A quick look at the guidelines from the gypsy mama - Lisa Jo Baker who is also the ringleader!
5-minute-friday-11. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..

Also, if you would turn off comment verification, it would make leaving some love on your post that much easier for folks!

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