An Epiphany Inspired By Life

I'm going to delve into a very emotional topic. Just fair warning. This is a very personal account and I have no reason to embellish or lie. This is my story and I've stuck to it for 13 years. Take it or leave it, but I hope that it inspires or helps you find answers to the questions you have not easily Googled.

*Deep Breath*

I haven't always been so strongly against abortion. I didn't really have a feeling about it one way or another. It just wasn't on my radar. I was raised in a Christian home, but it wasn't a topic discussed specifically. So when my husband and I got pregnant for the first time, it wasn't under duress that we found out. We were in a good place so feeling trapped or overwhelmed wasn't something we experienced with the knowledge that we were about to have a baby. We were overjoyed.

I am Type I Diabetic and so considered high risk. We were trying to get pregnant so I was keenly aware to any changes and would immediately take the home pregnancy test. It took some time to get pregnant and I was starting to worry it wouldn't happen for us. But it did and we were ecstatic. I went to the doctor and confirmed it really early (barely 4 weeks), but this was a doctor appointment made just a week prior. I had to travel to see specialists and there were lots of tests early on and we told our parents. I know, they say to wait just in case, but we were too excited and couldn't imagine anything bad happening.

At about my 6th week, I woke up at about 4am, in a pool of blood. We knew what it meant and I immediately started crying. We called the ER to let them know we were on our way. Luckily, that was about 5 minutes because we lived in a small seaside town. The doctor was kind, and very gentle. She forlornly gave me the news. I had to come back the next day for an ultra sound and then D&C. They allowed me to clean up, gave me scrubs to wear home, and we left.

We lived in a cute little cottage on the water. To get to it, we had to walk down a boardwalk from the parking area. We walked in silence. My heart was torn up. I couldn't cry anymore. I was thinking in my head that I just wanted to drink whatever we had in the house and obliterate the pain. I wanted to black out and forget. This is what it feels like when someone says they feel "gutted". I felt empty where my heart should be. I kept hearing this voice in my head and thought I was going crazy.

"I'm still here!"  "It's okay! I'm still here!"

Soft and quiet. I was instantly mad at God. I said in my head, "Years of never hearing you despite begging to hear your voice and NOW you want to talk? Go away!" But the voice didn't go away until I fell asleep. Crying again. I never drank a thing. I was too tired. The effort felt like too much.

Later that morning I had a whole day to simmer in my grief before I went to my appointment the next day. My parents came by to console me. My husband's parents brought flowers. My husband was commercial fishing at that time, and was working to prep the boat, so he was busy during the day. I was alone. Half sad. Half angry. It wasn't fair! I heard that voice still pleading they were "still here" throughout the day. I think it was the only reason I didn't take the opportunity to drink again. I slept off and on.

The next morning my husband dropped me off at the hospital and told me he would be there for the appointment as soon as he could. He had to go to the boat, check on some things and let the rest of the crew know what was up. I trudged to the waiting room and sat. Soon I was brought back to the ultrasound room. The tech was very solemn and kind. I laid there. Waiting to hear that, yes, my baby was dead....

"Wait... I think... there's.... THERE'S A HEARTBEAT! THERE'S A BABY STILL THERE!!"

I almost fell off the table. He jumped up, told me he had to get the doctor and ran out. I was in shock. I started to cry and right then my husband walked in. The look on his face was fear because he thought my tears meant something worse had happened. When I told him, "WE'RE STILL PREGNANT!!" I saw him tremble slightly before he rushed to me. The doctor came in with a full smile and tears in her eyes. She told us that this happens far more often than people realize and her experience taught her to always do an ultrasound to verify there is no life before proceeding with the D&C. She explained that we had most likely had twins and one, for whatever reason, died. I was sent home on temporary bed rest. 

Our First Born, Russell

Seven months later, I gave birth to Russell. My smiley sweet boy. It was when I was holding him for the first time, something happened. I don't know how to describe it, except like a spark going off right between my eyes, but in my head. I heard the voice, "I'm still here!". It was a memory, but from familiarity. I looked at this new baby boy and it struck me that HE had been reassuring me that he was still alive. I just didn't realize it consciously.

So early on, in the womb, his spirit was present. I have no doubt it was him trying to talk to me and in some way, I think he was the only reason I didn't fully give up.

When Russell was 3yo, he started verbalizing about a sister in heaven. We had never told him he was a twin. So this was amazing to us. Family swore to us they hadn't mentioned it. They didn't see the reason for it. To this day, around his birthday, he'll make a comment about his sister in heaven. So how has this shaped my feelings about abortion?

Life is precious. There is a soul from the very beginning. You cannot convince me otherwise. You can believe me or not. But this is my personal experience and for the rest of my life, I will speak out against the horrors of abortion. Thank you for listening to my story. I hope you found the answers to the difficult questions you had. I hope I inspired you. I hope you take the time to think about this issue, and at least, research more deeply and ignore the emotional shouts from either side of this issue. Seek the truth urgently. The truth, truly will, set you free. 

  

The Rapid Decline of A Once Great Nation

I have held off putting out my opinion on the Gosnell trials. It was hard to read the transcripts. Not just because there was so little media coverage and finding anything was a matter of hunting for key words found in obscure regions of the internet. It was because it was jaw dropping and heart rending to read of the horror visited on not just the desperate and ill cared for mothers, but their innocent offspring.

I wasn't surprised, but still sickened to find out that the local "legal" clinics referred patients to Gosnell when they knew they were passed the "legal" term for killing their young (past 23 weeks). Planned Parenthood, knew of Gosnell and his reckless disregard for women's health and their well being. As far back as 1972, Gosnell partnered with Harvey Karman to create a medieval torture device, devised to shred a baby inside the womb. This was done with the blessing of Planned Parenthood. Shortly after giving the nod to Karman and Gosnell the Mother's Day Massacre occurred. If you asked Planned Parenthood about this, they will probably feign ignorance, so here is the short version:

A young Philadelphia doctor “offered to perform abortions on 15 poor women who were bused to his clinic from Chicago on Mother’s Day 1972, in their second trimester of pregnancy.” The women didn’t know that the doctor “planned to use an experimental device called a ‘super coil’ developed by a California man named Harvey Karman.

A colleague of Karman’s Philadelphia collaborator described the contraption as “basically plastic razors that were formed into a ball. . . . They were coated into a gel, so that they would remain closed. These would be inserted into the woman’s uterus. And after several hours of body temperature, . . . the gel would melt and these . . . things would spring open, supposedly cutting up the fetus.”

Nine of the 15 Chicago women suffered serious complications. One of them needed a hysterectomy. The following year, the Supreme Court decided Roe v. Wade. It would be 37 more years before the Philadelphia doctor who carried out the Mother’s Day Massacre would go out of business. His name is Kermit Gosnell.

 Planned Parenthood knew about the conditions in Gosnell's House of Horrors, but chose to do nothing. Why? Because they didn't want to admit that the practice of killing children in (and out of) the womb was common, and the health and safety of women, was not of concern. You see, it is far more important to maintain an image, than it is to protect women who are in a vulnerable position. Further, I charge PP with being more interested in their bottom line. I wonder if they collected a referral fee for sending women to Gosnell that they knew they legally couldn't perform abortions on? I'll go further, and tell you that PP as well as most of the abortion clinics out there, make a lot of money SELLING BABY PARTS to industries that use them in cosmetics and research.

I am tired of hearing feminazis chant that abortion is a women's rights issue. I am tired of our president claiming his goal is to keep abortions safe, legal and rare when they are anything but. Margaret Sanger must be kicking up her heels in hell, knowing her plan to use abortion/contraception as a way to cull the races and ethnically cleanse the world is being championed by a black man and many in high positions of authority. I am tired of pro-aborts, ignoring facts and statistics. This nation's ground is soaked with the blood of innocents and that will not go unpunished. We lost our blessing a long time ago, and it would appear, it is all downhill from here.

I'll leave you with this final image/thought. Because I don't think anyone realizes that this was all going to go down. The downfall of this earth began with the first disobedient act in the garden. Satan whispers in the ears of our leaders, and compels them to endorse and stump for sinful, evil and wicked acts. We need to be on our knees in prayer daily, and we need to be out in the streets, calling out those who practice their evil in darkened clinics. We must intervene for women who are confused, and most likely, pressured and coerced to kill their babies. The wanton murder of innocence must end, or our world, will end.

Equality For Whom?

I've been seeing people all over Twitter and Facebook, showing their support for gay marriage by posting the red equal sign. I am going to post two feet. The feet represent the millions who never get to breathe the air of this world. Who never feel love let alone get married. Those who never have the chance to have children or go to school or do anything many gays are afforded the privilege to do. They are never given this chance because a human decides that their life is unimportant because of a defect or being an inopportune time for the person who conceived them. This is for the millions of children aborted yearly. Talk about rights being denied.

So I don't want to hear anymore crying for things you cannot afford or force people to give you through executive and congressional orders. I don't want to hear about how the government should recognize your union. You know why? Because you can survive without that, or get by on a reasonable facsimile. Because in the end, the greatest tragedy never recognized by the spoiled, self centered brats of this country, is that MILLIONS are DENIED the RIGHT to LIFE!!! Is anyone systematically murdering you because you are an inconvenience to them or you aren't perfect in their eyes? No?

THEN SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP! 

If you are going to make your fight for whatever, valid with me, you better give equal time, fighting for the right for innocents to live.

That is all.

Life Is Too Precious

One topic I feel very passionate about, is abortion. It is a terrible thing in my eyes, for any woman to so disrespect her body's amazing ability to create life, to have so little compassion for another life, the concept is foreign to me. So many have been deceived into believing it is just about their body, and therefore their right to do with it as they please. Yet, on the flip of a coin, you see that a person can be convicted of a double homicide if they kill a pregnant woman. Or if a woman intentionally harms her baby by taking drugs illegally, or paying someone to punch them in the stomach, she can also be charged with attempted murder, child endangerment/abuse or homicide if she succeeds. 

 

The other thing that I cannot wrap my mind around, is how, delivering all but the baby's head, then severing it's spine so that it dies before the head is removed, how that is not murder. That there seems to be this magic, invisible line between the uterus and outside world that makes it okay to do something so horrific.

Only in our twisted society, do women chant and scream and protest for the right to punish an innocent life, delivering a death sentence to that innocent life, for the crimes of another human who has committed rape. It is no different than carrying out a death sentence on a 3 year old, because his/her father robbed a bank, only, without the benefit of a trial.

I will not be moved from my position as opposed to the death of innocents. I will call it what it is: An abomination. A sickness of the mind. A crime against humanity. ...

At one time, it was legal to own, beat, kill slaves. We call that time in our history a horror. Many still carry around it's shame. The massive destruction of life on the orders of Hitler have been a horror that elicits tears of agonizing horror when touring the National Holocaust Museum in D.C. Now, it is legal to murder babies in the womb. When will we come to our senses and see it for the horror it truly is? The shedding of innocent blood, has cursed our country and we will see the blessings our forefathers partook of, taken from us. Mark my words.

Just a couple guys who know the importance of life and respecting it: